(Catherine is discovered. She wears a wedding ring. She is turning an object over and over in her hand - it is a man's wedding ring that matches hers. There is a yellow pad on the table. She has read it a number of times.)

CATHERINE
Jamie is over and Jamie is gone
Jamie's decided it's time to move on
Jamie has new dreams he's building upon
And I'm still hurting
Jamie arrived at the end of the line
Jamie's convinced that the problems are mine
Jamie is probably feeling just fine
And I'm still hurting
What about lies, Jamie?
What about things
That you swore to be true
What about you, Jamie
What about you
Jamie is sure something wonderful died
Jamie decides it's his right to decide
Jamie's got secrets he doesn't confide
And I'm still hurting
Go and hide and run away
Run away, run and find something better
Go and ride the sun away
Run away like it's simple
Like it's right...

(Jaime enters - He is not wearing a wedding ring. Catherine does not see him. It is five years earlier than the scene in Catherine's room - Jamie is at the beginning of the relationship, and Catherine, across the stage, is at the end. During this musical interlude, Jamie is prepping for his first date with Catherine.)

CATHERINE
Give me a day, Jamie
Bring back the lies
Hang them back on the wall
Maybe I'd see
How you could be
So certain that we
Had no chance at all
Jamie is over and where can I turn?
Covered with scars I did nothing to earn
Maybe there's somewhere a lesson to learn
But that wouldn't change the fact
That wouldn't speed the time
Once the foundation's cracked
And I'm
Still Hurting

(Lights fade out on her and become stronger on Jamie across the stage who is saying goodbye to Catherine now at the end of the first date.)

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JAMIE
I'm breaking my mother's heart
The longer I stand looking at you
The more I hear it splinter and crack
From ninety miles away
I'm breaking my mother's heart
The JCC of Spring Valley is shaking
And crumbling to the ground
And my grandfather's rolling
Rolling in his grave
If you had a tattoo, that wouldn't matter
If you had a shaved head, that would be cool
If you came from Spain or Japan
Or the back of a van
Just as long as you're not from Hebrew school
I'd say, "Now I'm getting somewhere!
I'm finally breaking through!"
I'd say, "Hey! Hey! Shiksa goddess!
I've been waiting for someone like you"

(A couple days later. Jamie is on the phone with Catherine.)

I've been waiting through Danica Schwartz and Erica Weiss
And the Handelman twins
I've been waiting through Heather Greenblatt, Annie Mincus,
Karen Pincus and Lisa Katz
And Stacy Rosen, Ellen Kaplan, Julie Silber and Janie Stein
I've had Shabbas dinners on Friday nights
With every Shapiro in Washington Heights
But the minute I first met you
I could barely catch my breath
I've been standing for days with the phone in my hand
Like and idiot, scared to death
I've been wandering through the desert
I've been beaten, I've been hit
My people have suffered for thousands of years
And I don't give a shit!
If you had a pierced tongue, that wouldn't matter
If you once were in jail or you once were a man,
If your mother and your brother
Had "relations" with each other
And your father was connected to the Gotti clan
I'd say, "Well, nobody's perfect"
It's tragic but it's true
I'd say, "Hey! Hey! Shiksa goddess!
I've been waiting for someone like..."

(He hangs up the phone - perhaps they are walking together through the park.)

You, breaking the circle
You, taking the light
You, you are the story
I should write
I have to write!
If you drove an R.V., that wouldn't matter
If you like to drink blood, I think it's cute
If you've got a powerful connection
To your firearm collection
I'd say, draw a bead and shoot
I'm your Hebrew slave, at your service
Just tell me what to do
I say, Hey hey hey hey!
I've been waiting for someone
I've been praying for someone
I think that I could be in love with someone
Like You!

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(Catherine is sitting at the end of a pier by the river in Ohio - Jamie has come, somewhat unexpectedly, for a visit. Over her dress she wears a sweater that's a little too small and not the right color.)

CATHERINE
I guess I can't believe you really came
And that we're sitting on this pier
See, I'm smiling
That means I'm happy that you're here
I stole this sweater from a costume shop
It makes me look like Daisy Mae
See, we're laughing
I think we're gonna be okay
I mean, we'll have to try a little harder
And bend things to and fro
To make this love as special
As it was five years ago
I mean, you made it to Ohio!
Who knows where else we can go
I think you're really gonna like this show
I'm pretty sure it doesn't suck
See, you're laughing and I'm smiling
By a river in Ohio
And you're mine
We're doing fine

(Five years earlier, just after their first date - Lights up on Jamie, on the phone in his studio apartment, a little nervous, calling a literary agent.)

JAMIE
Hi, I'm calling for Ms. Whitfield. Yeah, my name is Jamie Wellerstein, and my professor at Columbia said he had called and...Yeah, Dr. Adler. Right. Oh yeah, I mean, it's just a draft, but I think it's you know, getting to...whatever. Well, look, I don't know from agents. Dr. Alder just suggested...Okay, should I drop it of in person or...um yeah, I'll drop it in the mail then, that's great. No, that's great, thank you. What's your address?

(Lights down on Jamie.)

CATHERINE
I think we both can see what could be better
I'll own when I was wrong
With all we've had to go through
We'll end up twice as strong
And so we'll start again this weekend
And just keep rolling along

(Her face falls - Jamie has just told her he’ll be leaving tomorrow.)

CATHERINE
I didn't know you had to go so soon
I thought we had a little time
Look, whatever, if you have to
Then you have to, so whatever
It's all right
We'll have tonight

(Back to Jamie, a couple of weeks later. Lights up as he picks up the phone.)

JAMIE
Hello? This is...Oh, Ms. Whitfield, it's a pleaser to hear from you. And a surprise. Oh, you read it. Great that's...Thank you so much, that means a lot to me. Yes I really am twenty-three. Sure, whenever is convenient. Tuesday, good 9:00, I'm there. I'm really looking forward to meeting you, Ms. Whitfield. Okay, Linda, thank you. Thank you, this is great.

(Lights down as he hangs up.)

CATHERINE
You know what makes me crazy?
I'm sorry, can I say this?
You know what makes me nuts?
The fact that we could be together
Here together
Sharing our night
Spending our time
And you are gonna choose someone else to be with
No, you are
Yes, Jamie, that's exactly what you're doing:
You could be here with me
Or be there with them
As usual, guess which you pick
No, Jamie, you do not have to go to another party
With the same twenty jerks you already know
You could stay with your wife on her fucking birthday
And you could, God forbid, even see my show
And I know in your soul it must drive you crazy
That you won't get to play with your little girlfriends
No, I'm not, no I'm not!
And the point is, Jamie,
That you can't spend a single day that's not about
You and you and nothing but you
"Mahvelous" novelist, you!
Isn't he wonderful, just twenty-eight
The savior of writing
You and you and nothing but you
Miles and piles of you
Pushing through windows and bursting through walls
En route to the sky
And I...
I swear to God I'll never understand
How you can stand there straight and tall
And see I'm crying
And not do anything at all…

(The lights start to rise on Jamie’s side. He looks perplexed but not unhappy, as he dials. The lights stay up on Catherine for a bit while she continues to cry, then fade during Jamie’s call.)

JAMIE
Rob? Yeah, listen. You know how my lease is up? You know how I want to get a new apartment? What if I said I was gonna get one with Cathy? Rob? Yeah, I'll meet you there in five minutes.

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JAMIE
Did I just hear an alarm start ringing?
Did I see sirens go flying past?
Though I don't know what tomorrow's bringing
I've got a singular impression
Things are moving too fast
I'm gliding smooth as a figure skater
I'm riding hot as a rocket blast
I just expected it ten years later
I've got a singular impression
Things are moving too fast
And you say, "Oh, no
Step on the brakes
Do whatever it takes
But stop this train
Slow, slow! The light's turning red"
But I say: No! No!
Whatever I do
I barrel on through
And I don't complain
No matter what I try
I'm flying full speed ahead
I'm never worried to walk the wire
I won't do anything just "half-assed"
But with the stakes getting somewhat higher
I've got a singular impression things are moving too fast
I found a woman I love
And I found an agent who loves me
Things might get bumpy but
Some people analyze every detail
Some people stall when they can't see the trail
Some people freeze out of fear that they'll fail
But I keep rollin' on
Some people can't get success with their art
Some people never feel love in their heart
Some people can't tell the two things apart
But I keep rollin' on
Oh, oh - maybe I can't follow through
But oh, oh - what else am I supposed to do?

(Lights come up on Catherine, making a call. Throughout the call she is very consciously using her "professional" voice.)

CATHERINE
Hello, this is Catherine Hiatt. I'm calling for Mike Stelmyer - thank you.

(She’s on hold).

Hi, Mike, it's Cathy Hiatt. - no, this won't be long. I'm sorry if I'm interrupting. Well, two things - I was checking to make sure you got the reviews I sent from this summer - yes, I got some nice notices from the local papers. I thought you would enjoy them. Okay, well I can send out another set of those, sure. Right, well, the second thing was just, you know, just checking in, seeing if you saw anything you wanted to send me in for, I feel I'm in a really good place right now...Yes. Yes I certainly will, as soon as I'm doing something in the city, I will make sure you know...Oh, okay, I understand. Thanks for taking the time, Mike - I'll call you soon!

(She holds the phone for a moment, trying not feel rejected, then hangs it up.)

JAMIE
I dreamed of writing like the high and mighty
Now I'm the subject of a bidding war
I met my personal Aphrodite
I'm doing things I never dreamed of before
We start to take the next step together
Found an apartment on Seventy-Third
The Atlantic Monthly's printing my first chapter
Two thousand bucks without rewriting one word
I left Columbia and I don't regret it
I wrote a book and Sonny Mehta read it
My heart's been stolen
My ego's swollen
I just keep rollin' along
And I think well, well, what else is in store?
Got all this and more before twenty-four
It's hard not to be sure I'm spinning out of control
Out of control
I'm feeling panicked and rushed and hurried
I'm feeling outmaneuvered and outclassed
But I'm so happy I can't get worried
About this singular impression
I've got a singular impression things are moving too fast

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(A book signing party for Jamie's just released novel. Catherine is sitting idly next to a pile of Jamie's books while Jamie signs them. Someone has just asked her what it's like being married to Jamie.)

CATHERINE
One day we're just like
"Leave it to Beaver"
One day it's just a typical life
And then he's off on
A trip to Jamie-land
Staring catatonic out the window
Barely even breathing all the while...
And then he'll smile
His eyes light up and deep within the ground
Without a sound
A moment comes to life
And I'm a part of that
I'm a part of that
I'm a part of that
Next day it's just like
It never happened
We're making dinners
We're making plans
Then he gets on the
Mule train to Jamie-land
Handful after handful of Doritos
Circling the apartment, logging miles
And then he smiles
His eyes light up
And how can I complain?
Yes, he's insane
But look what he can do
And I'm a part of that
I'm a part of that
I'm a part of that
And it's true
I tend to follow in his stride
Instead of side by side
I take his cue
True, but there's no question
There's no doubt
I said I'd stick it out
And follow through
And when I do
Then he smiles
And where else can I go?
I didn't know
The rules do not apply
And then he smiles
And nothing else makes sense
While he invents
The world that's passing by
And I'm a part of that
I'm a part of that
I'm a part of that
Aren't I?
I'm a part of that
I'm a part of that
I'm a part of that

(At some point, she picked up a book - now she starts to hand the book back, looks briefly at the dedication page, then quickly closes the book and gives it.)

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(Their second Christmas together. Jamie hits a switch and the lights on the Christmas tree are illuminated. Jamie has a small gift-wrapped box in his hand. He puts it out towards Catherine, then mischievously takes it back.)

JAMIE
Ah! First, a story. New and unpublished. A little Christmas Story. I call it "The Story of Schmuel, Tailor of Klimovich." Merry Christmas.

(He pulls out a pad covered in scribbles and would be completely indecipherable to anyone but Jamie himself. He clears his throat melodramatically and begins to read.)

JAMIE
Schmuel would work till half-past ten at his tailor shop in Klimovich
Get up at dawn and start again with the hems and pins and twist
Forty-one years had come and gone at his tailor shop in Klimovich
Watching the winters soldier on, there was one thing Schmuel missed
"If I only had time," old Schmuel said
"I would build the dress that's in my head
A dress to fire
The mad desire
Of girls from here to Minsk
But I have no more hours left to sew"
Then the clock upon the wall began to glow...
And the clock said:
"Na na na na, na na na
Oh Schmuel, you'll get to be happy!
Na na na na, na na na
I give you unlimited time!
Na na na na, na na na
So Schmuel, go sew and be happy!"
But Schmuel said
"No, no, it's not my lot
I've gotta make do with the time I've got"
Schmuel was done at half-past ten and he said "Good night, old Klimovich"
Put on his coat to go, but then the clock cried, "Wait! Not yet!
Even though you're not wise or rich
You're the finest man in Klimovich
Listen up, Schmuel
Make one stitch and you'll see what you can get"
But Schmuel said
"Clock, it's much too late
I'm at peace with life
I accept my fate..."
But the clock said
"Schmuel! One stitch and you will
Unlock the dreams you've lost!"
So Schmuel, with reluctance, took his thread
He pulled a bolt of velvet and said
"I should take out my teeth and go to bed
I'm sitting her with talking clocks instead!"
And the clock said:
"Na na na na, na na na
Oh Schmuel, you'll get to be happy!
Na na na na, na na na,
I give you unlimited time
Na na na na, na na na
Just do it and you can be happy!"
So Schmuel put the thread through the needle's eye
And the moon stared down from a starless sky
And he pushed the thread through the velvet black
And he looked, and the clock was turning...back
So he grabbed his shears and he cut some lace
As the hands moved left on the old clock's face
And his fingers flew and the fabric swirled
It was nine-fifteen all around the world
Every cut and stitch was a perfect fit
As if God Himself were controlling it!
And Schmuel cried through a rush of tears
"Take me back! Take me back all forty-one years!"
And on it went down that silent street
Till Schmuel's dress was at last complete
And he stretched his arms
And he closed his eyes
And the morning sun finally started to rise
And the dress he made on that endless night
Was a dress that would make any soul take flight
Not a swatch, not a skein had gone to waste
Every ribbon and button ideally placed
And sewn into the seams were forty-one seasons of dreams
Dreams that you could feel
Coming real
And that very dress, so the papers swore
Was the dress a girl in Odessa wore
On the day she promised forevermore
To love a young man named Schmuel
Who only one day before
Had knocked at her kitchen door

(Finished with the story, he puts the pad in his pocket and takes out the gift again.)

Plenty have hoped and dreamed and prayed
But they can't get out of Klimovich
If Schmuel had been a cute goyishe maid
He'd've looked a lot like you
Maybe it's just that you're afraid to go out on to a limbovich
Maybe your heart's completely swayed
But your head can't follow through
But shouldn't I want the world to see
The brilliant girl who inspires me?
Don't you think that now's a good time to be
The ambitious freak you are?
Say goodbye to wiping ashtrays at the bar
Say hello to Cathy Hiatt, big-time star!
'Cause I say:
Na na na na na na na na
Cathy, you get to be happy!
Na na na na na na na
I give you unlimited time!
Na na na na na na na
Stop temping and go and be happy!

(He presents her with a “Backstage” magazine and business card.)

Here's a headshot guy and a new BackStage
Where you're right for something on every page
Take a breath
Take a step
Take a chance...

(He opens box for her and takes out a lovely watch.)

Take your time
Have I mentioned today
How lucky I am
To be in love with you?!

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(Catherine, writing a letter to Jamie.)

CATHERINE
I could have a mansion on the hill
I could lease a villa in Seville
But it wouldn't be as nice as a summer in Ohio
With a gay midget named Karl, playing Tevye and Porgy
I could wander Paris after dark
Take a carriage ride through Central Park
But it wouldn't be as nice as a summer in Ohio
Where I'm sharing a room with a "former" stripper and her snake: Wayne
I could have a satchel full of dollar bills
Cures for all the nations ills
Pills to make a lion purr
I could be in line to be the British queen
Look like I was seventeen
Still I'm certain I'd prefer to be going slowly batty
Forty miles east of Cincinnati
I could shove an ice pick in my eye
I could eat some fish from last July
But it wouldn't be as awful as a summer in Ohio
Without cable, hot water, Vietnamese food, or you
I saw your book at a Border's in Kentucky
Under a sign that said "New and Recommended"
I stole a look at your picture on the inside sleeve and then I couldn't leave
Richard, who was with me, got uncharacteristically quiet
And he said, "All things considered, I guess you don't have to buy it"
So I smile like Mona Lisa, and I lay my Visa down
He wants me, he wants me, but he ain't gonna get me
I've found my guiding light, I tell the stars each night
Look at me, look at him
Son of a bitch, I guess I'm doing something right
I finally got something right
No, it's not Nirvana, but it's on the way
I play "Anita" at the matinee
Then I'll get on my knees, and pray I can state in my next bio:
"I'm never gonna go back to Ohio!"
I could chew on tin foil for a spell
I could get a root canal in hell
But it wouldn't be as swell as this summer is gonna be!
'Cause the torture is just exquisite
While I'm waiting for you to visit
So hurry up, schmuck, get unstuck and get on the scene
Love, The midget, the stripper, Wayne the snake, and Mrs. Jamie Wellerstein
That's me!

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(Jamie on a boat on the lake in Central Park, pointing to the apartment buildings on the Upper West Side.)

JAMIE
No, that one's Jerry Seinfeld
That one's John Lennon there
No, the Dakota
The San Remo is up a few blocks
Have you been inside the Museum?
We should go
Meet the dinosaurs

(He takes a ring out of his pocket.)

Cathy.
Will you share your life with me
For the next ten minutes?
For the next ten minutes
We can handle that
We could watch the waves
We could watch the sky
Or just sit and wait
As the time ticks by
And if we make it till then
Can I ask you again
For another ten?

(Catherine appears, wearing her wedding gown and walks slowly toward the boat.)

JAMIE
And if you in turn agree
To the next ten minutes
And the next ten minutes
Till the morning comes
Then just holding you
Might compel me to
Ask you for more
There are so many lives I want to share with you
I will never be complete until I do

(Jamie slides the ring on Catherine’s finger.)

CATHERINE
I'm not always on time
Please don't expect that from me
I will be late
But if you can just wait
I will make it eventually
Not like it's in my control
Not like I'm proud of the fact
But anything other than being exactly on time
I can do
I don't know why people run
I don't know why things fall through
I don't know how anybody survives in this life
Without someone like you
I could protect and preserve
I could say no and goodbye
But why, Jamie, why?
I want to be your wife
I want to bear your child
I want to die
Knowing I
Had a long, full life in your arms
That I can do
Forever, with you

(They are standing at the alter together, looking directly at each other for the first time in the play.)

JAMIE
Will you share your life with me

CATHERINE
Forever

JAMIE
For the next ten lifetimes

CATHERINE
Forever, Jamie

JAMIE
For a million summers

BOTH
Till the world explodes
Till there's no one left
Who has ever known us apart

JAMIE
There are so many dreams
I need to see with you...

CATHERINE
There are so many years
I need to be with you...

JAMIE
I will never be complete

CATHERINE
I will never be alive

JAMIE
I will never change the world
Until I do

CATHERINE
I do

JAMIE
I do

CATHERINE
I do

BOTH
I do...

(They kiss, each holding on for as long as possible, as if perhaps they knew they didn't have that long to go. The orchestra plays a waltz, which they clumsily dance. He whispers something in her ear. She laughs and kisses him again. The waltz ends and Jamie takes Catherine’s hand as she steps into the rowboat. As it starts to glide upstage, Jamie stands and watches it go. Catherine looks across the boat as thought Jamie were in the other seat.)

CATHERINE
Is that one John Lennon?
That's the San Remo
Isn't that the Museum?
Can we go see the dinosaurs?

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JAMIE
Everyone tells you that the minute you get married
Every other woman in the world
Suddenly finds you attractive
Well, that's not true
It only affects the kind of women
You always wanted to sleep with
But they wouldn't give you the time of day before
And now they're banging down your door
And falling to their knees
At least that's what it feels like because you
Can
Not
Touch
Them
In fact, you can't even look at them
Close your eyes, close your eyes, close your eyes
Except you're sitting there
Eating your corned beef sandwich
And all of a sudden, this pair of breasts walks by
And smiles at you
And you're like "That's not fair!"
And in a perfect world
A miracle would happen
And every other girl would fly away
And it'd be me and Cathy,
And nothing else would matter
But it's fine, it's fine, it's fine
I mean, I'm happy
And I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine
It's not a problem
It's just a challenge
It's a challenge to resist temptation
And I have to say that
What exacerbates the problem
Is I'm at these parties
I'm the center of attention
I'm the grand fromage
And here she comes:
"Let's get a cup of coffee.
Will you look at my manuscript?"
And I'm showing her my left hand
I'm gesticulating with my left hand
And then WHOOMP! There's Cathy!
'Cause she knows
(They always know)
And there's that really awkward moment
Where I try to show I wasn't encouraging this
(Though of course I sort of was)
And I don't want to look whipped in front of this woman
Which is dumb - I shouldn't care what she thinks
Since I can't fuck her anyway!
And in a perfect world
A miracle would happen
And every girl would look like Mister Ed
And it'd be me and Cathy
And nothing else would matter
But it's fine, it's fine, it's fine
You know I love her
And it's fine, it's fine, it's fine
It's what I wanted
And I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine!
It's not a problem
It's just a challenge
It's a challenge to resist temptation

(Catherine sings “When You Come Home to Me,” simply and perfectly - it is her final audition for the job in Ohio.)

CATHERINE
When you come home to me
I'll wear a sweeter smile
And hope that, for a while, you'll stay
When you come home to me
Your hand will touch my face
And banish any trace of gray
Soon, a love will rise anew
Even greater than the joy I felt
Just missing you
And once again, I'll be
So proud to call you "mine"
When you finally come home
To me

(She smiles when she is done - she knows she got the job. Jaime is on the phone with Cathy.)

JAMIE
I'll be there soon, Cathy
I'll finish up this chapter and be out the door
I swear I'll be there soon, Cathy
Don't give up on me yet
I am so proud of you, baby
You're doing what you never got to do before
And I will be there, ripe and crawling
If fuckin' Random House stops calling
Don't lose faith
Don't get down
Don't despair
I'll be there
And in a perfect world
A miracle would happen
And that day would finally be here
And it'd be me and you
Riding it together
And the things we do
Goin' like we planned
We're gonna make it through
And nothing else will matter
We'll be fine, we're fine
We're fine, we're fine, we're fine
I'll be there soon, Cathy...
I swear I will

(The piano plays a very clunky rendition of “When You Come Home to Me” as lights fade on Jamie.)

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(Catherine is at an audition. She is incredibly nervous and cannot manage to get enough breath to project more than five feet in front of her or to quite get up to the pitch.)

CATHERINE
When you come home to me
I'll wear a sweeter smile
And hope that, for a while, you'll...
Okay, thank you. Thank you so much

(Lights change. She is having dinner with her father.)

I'm climbing uphill, Daddy
Climbing uphill
I'm up every morning at six
And standing in line
With two hundred girls
Who are younger and thinner than me
Who have already been to the gym
I'm waiting five hours in line
And watching the girls
Just coming and going
In dresses that look just like this
Till my number is finally called
When I walk in the room
There's a table of men
Always men - usually gay
Who've been sitting like I have
And listening all day
To two hundred girls
Belting as high as they can!
I am a good person
I'm an attractive person
I am a talented person
Grant me Grace!

(A bell tone. She steps forward and begins another audition. Instead of hearing the song, however, we hear what she is thinking.)

When you come home...
I should have told them I was sick last week
They're gonna think this is the way I sing
Why is the pianist playing so loud?
Should I sing louder?
I'll sing louder
Maybe I should stop and start over
I'm gonna stop and start over
Why is the director staring at his crotch?
Why is that man staring at my resume?
Don't stare at my resume
I made up half of my resume
Look at me
Stop looking at that, look at me
No, not at my shoes
Don't look at my shoes
I hate these fucking shoes
Why did I pick these shoes?
Why did I pick this song?
Why did I pick this career?
Why does this pianist hate me?
If I don't get a callback
I can go to Crate and Barrel with mom and buy a couch
Not that I want to spend a day with mom
But Jamie needs space to write
Since I'm obviously such a horrible, annoying distraction to him
What's he gonna be like when we have kids?
And once again...
Why am I working so hard?
These are the people who cast Linda Blair in a musical
Jesus Christ, I suck, I suck, I suck, I suck
When finally you come home to...
Okay, thank you
Thank you so much

(Jamie is at his editor's office at Random House, on the phone to Cathy.)

JAMIE
Cathy, what are you doing now? No, no - there's a bar across the street from Elsie's office and I want you to... I'm at Elise's office now. I came by to check something and...Well, just come down, I want to tell you in person, Cathy. Look, are you doing something right now? So just come...I'm with Elise because she is the editor of my book, Cathy, and I came here to talk to her about my book. Do we have to do this now? What I wanted to tell you is that there's a review, a very good review, in the New Yorker next week, and it's by John Updike, and I thought you might want to see that. Yes, I can bring it home with me, I just wanted to...No, I'm leaving now. I'll be there in a half hour. It's fine, I know, I know, it's fine. I love you, too. I'll be right home.

CATHERINE
I will not be the girl stuck at home in the 'burbs
With the baby, the dog, and the garden of herbs
I will not be the girl in the sensible shoes
Pushing burgers and beer nuts and missing the clues
I will not be the girl who gets asked how it feels
To be trotting along at the genius's heels
I will not be the girl who requires a man to get by
And I...
When you come home...

(Jaime is doing a reading at a big bookstore. He sits on a stool behind a microphone. His relaxation and comfort stand in stark contrast to Cathy’s demeanor.)

JAMIE
He touched the wall and decided he had had enough. He was exhausted, first of all, and he could feel it: his lungs were throbbing and heavy and his left arm was stinging from the shoulder right down to his wrist. Besides that, seven laps in and the water was still freezing cold, and if he wanted to be honest about it, he felt foolish - a ghostpale, graceless thing flapping about frantically, desperately trying to keep pace with the mermaid in the next lane. She was at least half a lap ahead of him, though he hadn't been able to keep track of her at all while he was swimming - every time he'd try to find her while he was catching a breath, she'd be completely out of range. But he could see her now, now that he was grabbing on to the side of the pool. He watched her back stretching, watched how she seemed to ride the water. Her arm came up over her ear and slid back under the surface soundlessly, effortlessly. Now she touched the opposite wall and was headed back towards him, and he watched as she changed her stroke, her head coming up and then submerging again in a burst of energy. He could see the shape of her face under her goggles, sense the curves of her breasts as she pushed up into the air.

She didn't seem particularly familiar at that moment - he didn't recognize the fierceness in her brow, the tension in her biceps, the fury in the pumping of her calves. It had never occurred to him that three years on he would be learning new things about her. It hit him in that moment that there were so many things he would discover - how her stomach swelled when she was pregnant, for example, or how the skin around her eyes would wrinkle as the years passed. She touched the wall next to him and pushed off, but she must have sensed something and she looked behind her and saw him standing at the wall, on arm hanging off the side, his teeth shattering slightly. She slowed down and turned to face him, a quizzical smile crossing her lips. He smiled back at her as she pulled the goggles over her cap. Ah, he thought, there she is. I recognize her now. He would spend the rest of the day trying to determine what was driving her silence, her clenched jaw, her sharp turns away from him. "You don’t have to let me win," she was screaming, but he couldn’t hear it at all.

(He closes the book and looks up at his audience. Cathy meanwhile, is in the midst of vocalizing. She is trying to compensate for her previous mousiness with a hysterical stridency, which essentially forces her to scream every note at the loudest possible volume.)

CATHERINE
…and banish any trace of gray!
Soon a love will rise anew,
Even greater than the joy...

(Jamie interrupts her and the lights change.)

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(Jamie is in the middle of a fierce fight with Cathy.)

JAMIE
Okay, stop. Cathy, stop. Listen to me. Can we please...Could we have two minutes where you don't just contradict everything I say? Can we...Cathy! Please? Two minutes? Then it's your turn, you can say whatever you want.)

There are people
And they are publishing my book
And there's a party that they're throwing
And while you've made it very clear that you're not going
I will be going
And that's done
But what's it really about?
Is it really about a party, Cathy?
Can we please for a minute stop blaming
And say what you feel?
Is it just that you're disappointed
To be touring again for the summer?
Did you think this would all be much easier
Than it's turned out to be?
Well, then talk to me, Cathy
Talk to me
If I didn't believe in you
We'd never have gotten this far
If I didn't believe in you
And all of the ten thousand women you are
If I didn't think you could do
Anything you ever wanted to
If I wasn't certain that you'd come through somehow
The fact of the matter is, Cathy
I wouldn't be standing here now
If I didn't believe in you
We wouldn't be having this fight
If I didn't believe in you
I'd walk out the door and say,
"Cathy, you're right"
But I never could let that go
Knowing the things about you I know
Things, when I met you four years ago, I knew
It never took much convincing
To make me believe in you
Don't we get to be happy, Cathy?
At some point down the line
Don't we get to relax?
Without some new tsuris
To push me yet further from you?
If I'm cheering on your side, Cathy
Why can't you support mine?
Why do I have to feel
I've committed some felony
Doing what I always swore I would do?
I don't want you to hurt
I don't want you to sink
But you know what I think?
I think you'll be fine!
Just hang on and you'll see-
But don't make me wait till you do
To be happy with you
Will you listen to me?
No one can give you courage
No one can thicken your skin
I will not fail so you can be comfortable, Cathy
I will not lose because you can't win
If I didn't believe in you
Then here's where the travelogue ends
If I didn't believe in you
I couldn't have stood before all of our friends
And said, "This is the life I choose-
This is the thing I can't bear to lose
Trip us or trap us, but we refuse to fall"
That's what I thought we agreed on, Cathy
If I hadn't believed in you
I wouldn't have loved you at all

Now why don't you put your dress on and we'll go, okay? Cathy? Can we just do that, please? Please?!

(But she's not going anywhere, and he has probably known that all along.)

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(Catherine, driving Jamie to meet her parents. She rambles and babbles happily through out.)

CATHERINE
My best friend had a little situation at the end of our senior year
And like a shot, she and Mitchell got married that summer
Carolann getting bigger every minute thinking, "What am I doing here?"
While Mitchell's out every night, being a heavy-metal drummer
They got a little cute house on a little cute street with a crucifix on the door
Mitchell got a job at a record store in the mall
Just the typical facts of a typical life in a town on the Eastern Shore
I thought about what I wanted
It wasn't like that at all
Made Carolann a cute baby sweater
Thinking "I can do better than that"

I wasn't paying attention. What exit was that? All right, so we'll be there soon. Are you hungry? Sick of me yet? Anyway...

In a year or so, I moved to the city
Thinking "What have I got to lose?"
Got a room, got a cat, and got twenty pounds thinner
Met a guy in a class I was taking who you might say looked like Tom Cruise
He wouldn't leave me alone 'less I went with him to dinner
And I guess he was cute
And I guess he was sweet
And I guess he was good in bed
I gave up my life for a better part of a year
And so I'm starting to think that this maybe might work
And the second it entered my head
He needed to take some time off
Focus on his "career"
He blew me off with a heartfelt letter
I thought "I can do better than that"
You don't have to get a haircut
You don't have to change your shoes
You don't have to like Duran Duran
Just love me
You don't have to put the seat down
You don't have to watch the news
You don’t have to learn to tango
You don't have to eat prosciutto
You don't have to change a thing
Just stay with me
I want you and you and nothing but you
Miles and piles of you
Finally I'll have something worthwhile
To think about each morning
You and you and nothing but you
No substitution will do
Nothing but fresh, undiluted and pure
Top of the line and totally mine!
I don't need any lifetime commitments
I don't need to get hitched tonight
I don't want to throw up your walls and defenses
I don't mean to put on any pressure
But I know what a thing is right
And I spend every day reconfiguring my senses
When we get to my house, take a look at that town
Take a look at how far I've gone
I will never go back
Never look back anymore
And it feels like my life led right to your side
And will keep me there from now on
Think about what you wanted
Think about what could be
Think about how I love you
Say you'll move in with me
Think of what's great about me and you
Think of the bullshit we've both been through
Think of what's past because we can do better!
We can do better!
We can do better than that!
We can do better than that!

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(Jamie lies in bed, his shirt off. He opens his eyes, looks at the clock and then at the woman in bed beside him.)

JAMIE
Hey, kid - good morning
You look like an angel
I don't remember when we fell asleep
We should get up, kid
Cathy is waiting...
Look at us, lying here
Dreaming, pretending
I made a promise and I took a vow
I wrote a story
And we changed the ending
Cathy, just look at me now!
Hold on, facts are facts
Just relax, lay low
All right, the panic recedes:
Nobody needs to know
Put on my armor
I'm off to Ohio
Back into battle till
I don't know when
Swearing to her that I was
Never with you
And praying I'll hold you again
Hold on, clip these wings –
Things get out of hand
All right, it's over, it's done
No one will understand
No one will understand...
We build a tree house
I keep it from shaking
Little more glue every time that it breaks
Perfectly balanced
And then I start making
Conscious, deliberate mistakes
All that I ask for
Is one little corner
One private room
At the back of my heart
Tell her I found one
She sends out battalions
To claim it and blow it apart
I grip and she grips
And faster we're sliding
Sliding and spilling
And what can I do?
Come back to bed, kid
Take me inside you
I promise I won't lie to you
Hold on, don't cry yet
I won't let you go
All right - the panic recedes
All right - everyone bleeds
All right - I get what I need
And nobody needs to know
Nobody needs to know
And since I have to be in love with someone
Since I need to be in love with someone
Maybe I could be in love with someone
Like you...

(Lights fade on the bed, and rises on Catherine’s front steps at the end of their first date. Jamie has just kissed Catherine.)

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CATHERINE
Don't kiss me goodbye again
Leave this night clean and quiet
You want the last word
You want me to laugh
But leave it for now
All you can say
All you can feel
Was wrapped up inside that one perfect kiss
Leave it at that:
I'll watch you turn the corner and go...
And goodbye until tomorrow
Goodbye until the next time you call
And I'll be waiting
Goodbye until tomorrow
Goodbye till I recall how to breathe
And I have been waiting
I have been waiting for you

(She watches him go.)

I stand on a precipice
I struggle to keep my balance
I open myself
I open myself one stitch at a time
Finally yes!
Finally now!
Finally something takes me away
Finally free!
Finally he can cut through these strings
And open my wings!
So goodbye until tomorrow!
Goodbye until my feet touch the floor
And I will be waiting
I will be waiting!
Goodbye until tomorrow
Goodbye until the rest of my life
And I have been waiting
I have been waiting for you
Waiting for you
Waiting for you

(Jamie appears at the table. He is writing a note on a yellow pad on the table - his wedding ring is on the table next to it, where it was at the beginning of the show.)

JAMIE
I called Elise to help me pack my bags
I went downtown and closed the bank account
It's not about another shrink
It's not about another compromise
I'm not the only one who's hurting here
I don't know what the hell is left to do
You never saw how far the crack had opened
You never knew I had run out of rope and
I could never rescue you
All you ever wanted
But I could never rescue you
No matter how I tried
All I could do was love you hard
And let you go

(He puts down the pen, stands and looks around the empty apartment.)

No matter how I tried
All I could do was love you
God, I loved you so
So we could fight
Or we could wait
Or I could go...

CATHERINE
Goodbye until tomorrow!
Goodbye until I crawl to your door
And I will be waiting
I will be waiting

JAMIE
You never noticed how the wind had changed

CATHERINE
Goodbye until tomorrow!

JAMIE
I didn't see a way we both could win

CATHERINE
Goodbye until I'm done thanking God
For I have been waiting
I have been waiting for you
I have been waiting!

JAMIE
Goodbye, Cathy

CATHERINE
I have been waiting for you

JAMIE
Goodbye

CATHERINE
I will keep waiting –
I will be waiting for you

(He picks up his briefcase and knapsack and slowly begins to cross the stage, passing her front steps.)

Just close the gate
I'll stand and wait

(She is looking off, where she watched him go...He is looking up at her on her steps.)

Jamie...

BOTH
Goodbye.

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